When the sands of time are just about to run out, you’ve got nothing to do except think.
Those who are doomed to their deathbeds often reminisce on the grand life they have lived, replaying their favourite memories and taking a trip down memory lane with their loved ones.
But inevitably, people don’t look back on every phase of their lives fondly, so some take the opportunity to express their regrets too.
Thankfully, we don’t have to be a fly on the wall for those emotional conversations to find out what they consist of, as hospice nurse Julie McFadden has revealed it for us
In a transatlantic link up, the end of life care expert joined fellow TikTok extraordinaire and NHS surgeon Dr Karan Rajan on his podcast Dr Karan Explores.
The Brit medic invites world-leading experts in science and medicine on his show to help him ‘cut through the BS of modern health advice’ – but in this case, he wanted to get the lowdown from someone who is more focused on the other end of the spectrum, AKA death.
Dr Karan Rajan and hospice nurse Julie McFadden discussed deathbed regrets on his podcast (YouTube/DrKaran)
Los Angeles-based nurse Julie shared some of the invaluable life lessons she has learned since embarking on her career in end of life care, a lot of which were taught to her by people on their death beds.
She told Dr Karan when they sat down together in September that these patients seem to come to a sense of clarity in their final hours, which is something they probably couldn’t have managed with a clean bill of health.
The hospice nurse then rounded up the three most common regrets which she hears from those on end of life care.
“The first one I hear all the time is that they regret not appreciating their health while they had it,” Julie said.
“The number one thing people say to me is, ‘I wish I would have understood how amazing it is to have a working body’.
“That really sits with me and I really try to remember that every single day of my life while I have a healthy body.”
Secondly, Julie explained that she routinely hears people complain that they ‘worked too much’ when they are at death’s door.
The end of life expert revealed the most common things patients tell her (Getty Stock Images)
She continued: “So, don’t work your life away – which is really easy to say, but I know it’s hard not to when you have bills to pay and things like that.
“But most people regret that.”
Stellar advice, so far.
Julie then revealed that thirdly and finally, people often regret putting the thoughts and feelings of others before their own.
The hospice nurse went on: “The third thing is usually about relationships – either not maintaining ones or holding onto grudges or caring too much about what so and so thought.
“Just not really embracing their own life and their own opinion and kind of holding on to something, or caring too much about what the neighbours think.”
Viewers really seemed to take her comments on board, with many saying it had given them a fresh perspective on life.
Dr Karan was no different and explained that Julie’s first point had really resonated with him for a particular reason.
“That one is something which definitely hits me a lot more,” he said. “A few years ago, I saw a young woman come in with pancreatitis, in her 20s…within three hours, this woman is in the intensive care unit, she’s intubated, ventilated.
“Next day, she’s passed away. And that just made me think, like wow. I’m in my 30s now, I’m 34. Life can just go in a flash.
“So yes, truly don’t take it for granted.
“We sometimes have this tendency to walk around like we’re immortal and immune to things and you know, we’re really not.”
Featured Image Credit: Instagram/hospicenursejulie/Getty Stock Images
Topics: Health, Lifestyle, Mental Health, TikTok, Science, NHS, Podcast